From time to time, every child experiences fear, to one degree or another. As youngsters explore the world around them, having new experiences and confronting new challenges, anxieties are almost an unavoidable part of growing up. The reason is that they do not fully understand the difference between fantasy and reality.
According to one study, 43% of children between ages 6 and 12 have many fears and concerns. A fear of darkness, particularly being left alone in the dark, is one of the most common fears in this age group. So is a fear of animals, such as large barking dogs. Some children are afraid of fires, high places or thunderstorms. Most are afraid of ghosts, being lost , being attacked or being hurt. Others, conscious of news reports on TV and in the newspapers, are concerned about burglars, kidnappers or nuclear war. If there has been a recent serious illness or death in the family, they may become anxious about the health of those around them.
In middle childhood, fears wax and wane. Most are mild, but even when they intensify, they generally subside on their own after a while. Sometimes, however, these fears can become so extreme, persistent and focused that they develop into phobias. Phobias are more than simple fears: the difference is the severity of the problem. A phobia is a strong and irrational fear. Both heritable factors as well as environmental factors such as trauma, vicarious learning and/or negative information are important for differences in fearfulness and phobias-at least in children. Only 2 to 4% of all children have this mental health diagnosis as the majority of children “grow out” of it. Phobias can become persistent and debilitating, significantly influencing and interfering with a child’s usual daily activities. For instance, a 6-year-old youngster’s phobia about dogs might make him so panicky that he refuses to go outdoors at all because there could be a dog there. A 10-year-old child might become so terrified about news reports of a serial killer that he insists on sleeping with his parents at night.
Some youngsters in this age group develop phobias about the people they
meet in their everyday lives. This severe shyness can keep them from making
friends at school and relating to most adults, especially strangers. They
might consciously avoid social situations like birthday parties or Scout
meetings, and they often find it difficult to talk comfortably to anyone
except their immediate family.
Separation anxiety is also common in this age group. Sometimes this fear
can intensify when the family moves to a new neighbourhood or children
are placed in a child-care setting where they feel uncomfortable. Separation
itself may cause some phobias, such as school phobia, an intense and long
lasting phenomenon, embracing all situations connected with school and
occurring in nearly 2% of all children. It often produces physical symptoms
such as headache, upset stomach, nausea and vomiting; it can eventually
lead the children to withdraw into their own world, becoming clinically
depressed.
At about age 6 or 7, as children develop an understanding about death,
another fear can arise. With the recognition that death will eventually
affect everyone, and that is permanent and irreversible, the normal worry
about the possible death of family members – or even their own death
– can intensify. In some cases, this preoccupation with death can
become disabling.
Fortunately, most phobias are quite treatable. In general they are not a sign of serious mental illness requiring many months or years of therapy.
As part of the treatment plan for phobias, many therapists suggest exposing children to the source of their anxiety in small doses. Under a therapist’s guidance a child who is afraid of dogs might begin by talking about his fear and by looking at photographs or a videotape of dogs. Next, he might observe a live dog from behind the safety of a window. Then, with a parent or a therapist at his side, he might spend a few minutes in the same room with a friendly, gentle puppy. Eventually, he will find himself able to pet the dog, then expose himself to situations with larger, unfamiliar dogs.
This gradual process is called desensitization, meaning that a child will become a little less sensitive to the source of his fear each time he confronts it. Ultimately, the child will no longer feel the need to avoid the situation that has been the basis to his phobia. While this process sounds like common sense and easy to carry out, it should be done only under the supervision of a professional.
It takes time for children to confront and gradually overcome their
anxieties. They can be, however, encouraged ( but not forced ) to progressively
come face-to-face with what they fear. Sometime psychotherapy can also
help children become more self-assured and less fearful.